I find myself with 20 mins to spare tonight and decided to write a blog entry... And then I realized it's been 2 months since my last post! For whatever strange reason, it seems like I have a higher chance of blogging when I'm in a "not-so-good" mood... Haha, maybe it's just one of my ways of "venting"...

It's been a very "interesting" two weeks, both at work and at home. Hmm, don't really know what "stories" I want to tell here, so you'll have to excuse my random point forms.

Home:

• Grandma had a fall 2 weeks ago and it's severely limited her mobility AND her mood. And all of a sudden it seems like she has Alzheimer's... And that's still waiting for specialist's assessment...
• We went to emergency a few times for that... And I realize just how much I hate going in and out of hospital (although I was pretty confident there's nothing seriously wrong with her physically...) I guess I just don't like to be reminded of all the memories with mom's and dad's incidents the past few years...
• Suddenly it just put everyone in the family in "bad" mood... because grandma doesn't want to do anything but sleep and everyone gets so worried... Even when it's Chinese New Year period and with so many relatives in town (partly because of grandma), and they act all festive and stuff during dinner, I just can't help but kinda "see through" them...  It's just a weird feeling to have during the biggest festival of the year...
• Fortunately, some helper/nurse has been coming to take care of grandma the past few days. And that seems to relieve everyone's stress a bit. Hopefully everything will only get better from now on.

Work:

• Hmm, always difficult to talk about work stuff on the blog... Hard to express my feelings without revealing too much fine details...It's just been a stressful 2 weeks...
  
• Last week I suddenly realized I've been working on the same issue for the past 7 months!! Hm, I guess that 'realization' hurts... because I would have thought it'll be over by now... While I can appreciate the complexity of the issue, sometimes you just have to question... is it I'm the one that's stupid and so nobody understood what I'm trying to do? At one point, I said openly in a meeting "I don't want to deal with this issue ever again when it's done...." The frustration... I bet it surprised many of my colleagues. Haha, it even surprised myself... ANYWAY, it seems to be FINALLY wrapping up soon... I REALLY hope it doesn't come back to haunt us again...
• Speaking of "haunting"... I did a framework migration work maybe 1.5 yrs ago now... It was a VERY difficult task due to various reasons that were out of my control... I did the best job I possibly could, knowing the result was going to be far from satisfactory... Haha, even then, it felt like a miracle when it finally worked... 1.5 yrs after, people are starting to notice the flaws... I offered to take the blame at the first instance I heard the 'complaint' because really, I know the kind of mess I did... But of course everyone says I shouldn't feel guilty because of all the constraints back then... I don't know... I know ppl are sincere and I know how hard I tried already... but still... MAYBE I could have done it just a little better? (Hmm, as I'm typing this I suddenly remember I promised myself to lower my own expectation... Haha, I guess always easier said than done...)
• Other stuff: office move... organization structure re-org... etc. Workplace just seems to get very political and complicated... 

Sigh, OK, there, enough venting... I guess that DOES make you feel better.

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